All of the terrible writing and predictable plotlines have culminated in tonight! Nashville’s series finale is upon us, so here we go…
Bucky thinks he can get Deacon his own headlining tour. He doesn’t want to leave Daph and Madds, but Scarlett says she’ll take care of them. That’s a brilliant idea. The blonde leading the blind.
Daphne is in the final three competitors of Brad’s talent show along with her pal, Preston. Ilse doesn’t like the song Brad chose for Daphers to sing for her final performance. It’s not her style. Deacon tells her to be true to who she is. Daph also gets a gift from grandpa wishing her luck. It’s a necklace and Deacon confiscates it, believing he is trying to manipulate her. Either way, Daphne is still inviting Gideon to the final reality show taping.
Avery is freaking because Juliette has sold her house, but he also knows she’s holding out on something. Yeah, she is growing another demon succubus like herself.
Brad creeps over to Alannah’s house to tell her she is going to perform a show in Memphis. Of course, he is creeping along, too. She does a great performance while in Memphis and afterwards, Brad tells her to come to his hotel room for a party. He has people there she needs to meet. Yeah right. This is both predictable and disturbing.
Twig is in the recording studio with Maddie and I guess he is producing her music now AND THANK THE LORT THIS ANNOYING STORYLINE IS ENDING. Oh, Twig wants to move to Nashville and Maddie still isn’t sure about her feelings for him.
Gunnar is trying to get Avery back to join their band, but Aves is hesitant. He is next in the studio with Hallie and they chat about Juliette. Hallie ends up telling him Juliette is knocked up. Avery immediately goes to Juliette. We all know how this is going to end and that man needs to run as far away as possible from Juliette.
Deacon confronts Gideon about reaching out to Daphne. Pops wants Deacon to hear him out. When Daphne discovered him drinking, he knew he couldn’t do it again. The look on her face destroyed him, making him realize he will never be the abusive, belligerent man he once was.
Of course, Brad is alone when Alannah gets up to his room and he pushes himself on her, saying “Come on, you know you want this.” I am going to need some hard liquor for this. When she rejects him, she punches him in the nose. #TEAMALANNA He next gets ultra creepy, saying there’s an unspoken “implicit” contract between them that he gets her hoochie snooter and she gets the fame. When she turns to leave, he says she will never work in this town again. Not to worry, Alannah. It’s fake Nashville and by the time this is published, there will no longer be a fake Nashville.
Maddie gives Twig a pair of professional headphones to make breaking up with him easier. He isn’t ready to say goodbye and they both cry and I am wondering if there is an icepick around here I can put through my eye.
Avery confronts Juliette about keeping the pregnancy from him. She loves him, but doesn’t want to trap him because she is carrying his spawn. Oh- and she is in the process of moving out of her house in Nashville to the farm she bought outside of town.
Gideon, Deacon, Scarlett and Maddie are all in the studio audience for Daphne’s final reality talent show performance. Her competition is all wonderful, but Daph Daph gets her guitar and makes the song her own. Both Deacon and Gideon are in tears and the crowd loves her. But, the more Faith Hill-esque contestant wins and Daphne goes crying backstage to Deacon. Deacon later approaches Ilse and thanks her for her work with Daphne. Ilse offers to do some songwriting with him when he gets back from his tour. Lucky bitch. One more on my shit list.
Speaking of shit list, Zach (who is running for Congress), Deacon and Alannah make their way over to Brad’s office unannounced and you know the shizzz is about to go down. Zach bluntly explains that Brad is going to sell him Shiny New Records for 15 million bucks before they leave. BTW, that’s 5% of what the company is worth. So, Alannah plays Brad the recording she made on her phone of him threatening her. Then, Jessie walks in with a handful of women who also have similar experiences with Brad. They are ready and willing to go to the press. Jessie demands she get full custody of their kid.
Juliette sits at a keyboard and begins to sing.
We then see “a few months later” on the screen and a montage that includes the following:
- Will and Zach walking hand in hand across the pedestrian bridge
- Maddie moving into Deacon and Scarlett’s old house on her own
- Gunnar, Will and Avery are a successful trio and again called The Last Highways
- Jessie and her son are home and watching a movie together
- Deacon signs Daphne to a recording contract with Highway 65
The montage stops and we see Avery making his way to Juliette’s farm and he has a big suitcase packed. He tells her exactly what she wants him to say and everyone in the room simultaneously gagged. He needs her, loves her, blah blah.
Next, we see Scarlett backstage kissing some musician she’s now engaged to. Ah, she must be opening for Deacon on his tour. Then, Gideon appears invited by Madds and Daphs. Pops tells Deacon he’s been keeping up with every leg of his tour and he’s proud of him.
Deacon excuses himself and makes his way to a dressing room and flashes back to his wedding day with Rayna. They have a discussion about regrets and how you must choose the people in your life and accept them just the way they are. Scarlett interrupts and it’s time for his show – at the Ryman Auditorium. As he greets the crowd, he welcomes his dad to the stage to perform with him. When Deacon apologizes to Gideon, he realizes his father knows all of his songs. Then, Maddie, Scarlett and Daphne appear on stage to sing with him. Then, it turns into the whole famdamily when Avery, Gunnar and Will walk out singing, too. Of course, Juliette walks out and HALLELUJIA- Rayna comes back from the dead to pick and grin. She looks great for a dead bitch.
ANYWAY… the entire cast (past and present) and crew make their way to the stage and they all sing and hold hands and kiss and cry.
A bit uneventful, but let’s end it like a stereotypical awards show.
Nashville is no more. It has been real. It has been fun. Thank you, my lovelies! Angela out.
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