So, Maddie’s little video stunt with Clay and the cops has apparently sparked national debate. Give me a stinking break. If Maddie were a real person, she wouldn’t be famous or relevant. Anyway, reporters are camped outside her house.
Also, where is Glenn? We ALWAYS start out with Glenn and his absence forced me to begin drinking way too early in the show.
Zach has brought in some Silicon Valley internet wiz to help Highway 65 switch directions and become financially successful. This gal (named Alyssa) is played by Rachel Bilson and you gotta be asking yourself what happened in her career to make her do this show. Now, if she is Maddie’s replacement character, I am very much on board with this.
Deacon and Zach mosey over to a Nashville City Council member’s office and he explains there will be a big, joint statement between him, Maddie, the chief of police, the NAACP and other city and civic leaders. Maddie will apologize and that will be the end of the hullabaloo. Can we also just have her apologize for being on this show? You can’t off Rayna and expect her spoiled, entitled, selfish, annoying, self-centered, boring teenage daughter take her place.
Juliette arranged for Hallie to play a show at the Bluebird and has all of the label grand poohbahs there to watch. Like every other wannabe artist on this show, she immediately gets record deal offers. For those of you not paying attention, that hardly ever happens in real Nashville. Deacon wants her on Highway 65 and Avery wants to produce her music. Wow, they gave Avery something to do besides being Juliette’s flunky.
The homeless teen (Liv) is still mooching off of Daphne and when Maddie walks in and gets on Daph’s case about wearing makeup, Liv asks “Aren’t you late for your apology tour or something?” #TEAMLIV While what Liv said was crappy, and I was all about it, Daphne looks guilty for not defending her sister.
Bucky drops by to talk with Maddie and explains that country radio isn’t very kind to people who seem opposed to the military, God, country or police. He brings up the Dixie Chicks as an example. #TEAMDIXIECHICKS I would like to point out that CMT never dropped the Dixie Chicks from their playlist though most of country radio did.
Oh good, a scene with Juliette and Maddie should make this episode pointless. Anyway, since all of Nashville can’t stop talking about the Madds, Clay and police incident, she goes to the shining beacon of noble decisions: Juliette. Juliette is in the recording studio and Maddie stops by. After Juliette tells her she did the right thing in the viral video, Maddie wants to hear what Juliette has been working on. Juliette tries to usher her out of there (ya know, because she stole a song Maddie was originally supposed to have.)
Alyssa is the new Chief Strategy Officer at Highway 65. She knows nothing about Nashville, country music or the music business (kind of like this show). She is introduced to Gunnar, Scarlett, Will, Maddie and Juliette and her first idea for money making? She wants to do brand partnerships. That means teaming artists up with a product that fits each artist’s persona and interests. For example, Scarlett could team up with a company that makes ugly, oversized sweaters.
Hallie is thrilled Avery wants to be her producer, but he wants to use studio musicians and she has her own backing band. He suggests doing what is VERY common in real Nashville and that’s using top notch studio musicians for her album. Way to add a dose of reality, CMT.
Liv has created a gif of Maddie on Daphne’s computer taken from the controversial video with the hashtag #whitegirlsmattertoo. Now, I am a big fan of this gif, but Daphne isn’t happy with it. She tells Liv to publish it online anyway. Liv is very jealous of Daphne’s relationship with Madds.
One of Hallie’s musicians is living with her and he is in love with her. By the way, he is married. When she tells Juliette she won’t record without him, Juliette tells her to cut the damn strings. When she won’t change her mind for Juliette, she calls in her favorite minion, Avery, to talk to Hallie. He asks that she just give him a few hours in the studio to experience the caliber of studio musicians he wants to use.
Maddie is trolling the internet for stories about her when she sees a news report about Clay’s brush with the law when he lived with his mother in Louisville. It seems Clay barricaded himself in the bathroom and was threatening to commit suicide. That example of white privilege in the flesh, Maddie, decides to give Clay a call. Thankfully, he doesn’t pick up. Wow, this show is a two-wine-bottle episode. You have been warned, my lovelies. Prepare accordingly.
Anyway, Zach and Alyssa prepare an apology statement for Maddie to read to the public regarding the police video and she won’t read it because it’s not true. Deacon explains to her that this could help make all of the negative media go away, but Madds sticks to her guns. I see you are trying to make her the good guy, CMT, but nice try. She is an airplane barf bag away from ratings poison.
Liv’s gif has gone viral and now people are making their own gifs making fun of Maddie based on the original and it is glorious! Even people in fake Nashville understand how irritating she is. Maybe focus a bit more on an interesting and lovable character like Will, who, by the way, is working out with Zach. HELLO. Zach is trying to get an artist’s perspective from him on Alyssa’s brand partnership idea and Will doesn’t want to be the middleman in Zach’s business dealings.
Now that Gunnar is literally everything Scarlett needs him to be, she isn’t physically attracted to him right now. I knew it. She’s legally blind. That would explain the horrible fashion sense. Don’t pretend like you queens haven’t noticed.
Ya know that scene in Footloose where Kevin Bacon angry dances it out using gymnastics in a barn? Who am I kidding? Of course you have. Well, that is kind of what Clay is doing, but he is angry/crying jamming while holed up in his apartment instead of in a barn. He is also ignoring Maddie, which he should have done months ago.
While Clay ignores her, Maddie gets approached by a reporter who thinks she was brave and wants to tell her story. “It took you standing up as an ally to people of color to make this a big story. You have a platform,” is what the reporter tells her. I just choked on my wine. Maddie is the poster child for white privilege and you want her to be the spokesperson for police abuse of African Americans? Where is the vodka? I’m going to need something stronger for this pile of baloney.
When Hallie arrives at the studio, Avery already has the musicians sounding fan-damn-tastic and when she begins to sing with them, it’s musical brilliance. She knows Avery was right.
Keeping in mind Clay’s bipolar disorder, Maddie goes over to see him and his anxiety is through the roof. He hasn’t slept in several days. With tears in his eyes, he officially breaks it off with her and I am assuming they are tears of joy. They hug it out anyway and Maddie goes home crying to Deacon. And for the love of Pete, EVERY TIME Maddie goes crying to someone, they talk about how she has Rayna’s strength or courage or some other BS.
Speaking of breakups, Will is beginning to realize how smarmy Zach is and isn’t sure he wants to stay with him. But, Zach brings up Budweiser wanting to work with Will and how it would be a huge coup for his image and the gay community, so Will changes his tune (no pun intended) and is thrilled.
Maddie makes an online video from her bedroom where she apologizes for being rude to the police and escalating an already tense situation. Then she praises Clayton to the nth degree followed by she and Daphne performing a song for him called “Love Until it Hurts.”
Then, Clay packs up his stuff and leaves town.
Okay, I give up. If Clay is gone, we riot at dawn. Until, next week…
NASHVILLE recap: "Not Ready to Make Nice" (Season 5 Episode 16)
NASHVILLE recap: "A Change Would Do You Good" (Season 5 Episode 15)
NASHVILLE recap: "(Now and Then There's) A Fool Such As I" (Season 5 Episode 14)